How to improve your dating by improving your frame.
Rollo Tomassi wrote a fantastic book called ‘The Rational Male’, which I recommend every man read.
Rollo created Iron rules for men to live by.
These rules are basically:
- You are the prize, not the woman.
- Have belief in your own greatness and what you can achieve
- Be your own man and seek to achieve your personal goals
- There are no ‘soul mates’ and women come and go
- Don’t live with a woman unless you plan to marry her
- Frame is everything.
The last point is in my opinion, the most important of them all.
We are going to look at frame in his article because It supports all other aspects of the Iron Rules of Tomassi.
Why frame so important for dating?
As a man, you always need to be aware of whose frame you’re operating in.
You always need to control the frame, but resist giving the impression that you are. You need a women to operate in your frame and never let her control the frame. If you do, you will lose her as she will see you as a weak man. Maintaining frame is key to keeping your woman’s respect.
Women are like soldiers. They need a strong leader who they believe in and who leads them. Soldiers need a strong captain. Women need a strong man.
They like to follow but don’t want to know they are following. It’s more a sub-conscience thing which is why they sub-consciencely ‘shit test’ you.
NOTE: not ALL women want a strong man. Some women like to take control and they go for pussy whipped women. We are not interested in these women. They are often narcissistic.
What is frame?
Understanding frame is important if you want to improve your success with women.
Visualise yourself in a clear, plastic box.
The box is your frame and everything inside that box is your frame.
The interior of your box is everything you have power over. Your actions, your words, your thoughts. Everything inside that box is you. It is your personality. Everybody’s is different.
Everybody has a frame. When you meet a women, she has a frame. These two frames will compete with each other. You will not know she is doing it, but she will be seeing how strong your frame is.
Some women are head-strong and determined. They have strong frame.
Some women are passive and easily influenced. They have weaker frame.
You need stronger frame than your women.
This means you need her operating in your frame.
Having complete belief in yourself gives you frame. This is confidence. You must have heard that women like confident men.
Confident men believe in themselves through their frame. Confidence is not arrogance. Arrogance often manifests from non-belief and is a mask. Confidence emanates from within a person.
Believing that you are the prize in the relationship gives you frame. It gives you an infectious confidence that women love.
Never be afraid to walk away from a relationship. This will give you unbelievable power.
Women will constantly test your frame
You need to maintain your frame to succeed with women.
Most people in the red pill community have heard of hypergamy. It is a natural desire for women to always have her best option in a man. It’s a biological thing.
A woman always looks for the strongest male genes.
Shit tests from women are ways of testing your frame. A woman always wants to ensure that she has her best option.
She will continuously test your frame. These small, subtle tests are called shit tests.
Here is an example of a shit test.
A woman approaches you in a bar and says…
‘Hey, are you going to buy me a drink?’
Most men would crumble and buy her a drink thinking that they will get lucky at the end of the night. Women will let guys buy them drinks all night and then bail on you. You will be perceived as a thirsty, desperate male. You have not displayed high-value. If you are stupid enough to buy her drinks all night, she will gladly accept them.
A low-value man will buy a woman drinks all night. A high-value man will say:
‘Nope. You can buy me one though’
A high-value man will show that she is not equal to him. He is above her. A high-value man will not care if she walks away. He has many options and doesn’t need her. She needs to subconsciously know this. Women always want what they can’t have.
A high-value man will not appear desperate or thirsty. A high-value man has options.
You need to impose your frame
In order to succeed in dating, you may need to impose your frame on a woman
A women may find you attractive but may not be ready to enter your frame. They will shit test you to see if you are valuable enough.
For example, a women may say…
‘You’re a great guy, but I don’t like short guys.’
‘Yeah, well that won’t matter when we’re both lying down’
‘You’re a great guy, but I don’t like short guys.’
‘That’s fine. I prefer petite women’
She will be testing your response to see if you crumble under pressure or if you maintain control and confidence.
Hopefully, you see the difference between confidence and arrogance.
Confidence comes from within and is built over time.
Arrogance is just being cocky and often masks insecurities.
Alpha males naturally have frame
How you can become alpha. Men are not born alpha or beta, they become it over time.
Have you ever heard of alpha f*cks, beta bucks? Alpha males are generally confident men. They tend to have an aura about them. Also, the minority of men (the alphas) are having sex with the majority of the women. Women will tend to have casual sex quickly with the alpha males and make the beta guys wait longer.
Building and maintaining frame is often cited as the most important aspect of alpha male behavior.
You either operate in your frame or her frame.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Does she make you wait for sex?
- Do you have to pay for everything on dates?
- Do you have to make all the effort?
- Are you in the friend zone?
If you answer yes to any of these, then you’re operating in her frame.
You need to control the frame
You need to take control of the frame otherwise she’ll never respect you and look for a man who does control the frame. Women, because of their hypergamous nature, will always be looking out for the best option.
They may not always act on their instinct, but they will always be looking for the strongest, male genes. In short, the alpha male.
It is vital to the health of any relationship, especially sexual ones that a man establishes his frame as the basis of their interactions. Your woman may fight it to the tee, but ultimately your leadership is what that woman instinctively craves.
That means it’s up to you gentlemen to be the leader and establish a strong frame. You will enter her reality or she will enter yours.
Points to remember…
A man who values himself will never agree to being just be friends when their intention is sex. If she doesn’t start giving it up, it’s time to move on.
Pussy is a cheap commodity. Every women has a pussy and they are all pre-owned. Not a single one is special.
Never be afraid to walk away from a relationship. Ask yourself, what would I really miss if this relationship ended tomorrow?