Get more dating success with women by understanding the Pareto Principle.
The Pareto Principle applies to everything in life. Some call it the 80/20 principle. Some the rule of the vital few. Whatever you call it, the principles remain the same.
- 80% of the traffic on your daily commute will congest 20% of the journey.
- 80% of your calories consumed today will come from 20% of your food.
- 80% of your productivity today came as a result of 20% of your efforts.
- 80% of your playlist will be played 20% of the time
Likewise, 20% of men will attract 80% of the women. That’s right! A minority of men are having sexual relations with the majority of women. This always has been, and always will be.
Women will always seek out the best mate that they can. It’s biological. It’s inherent in their DNA.
NOTE: The 80/20 rule is not a hard-fast rule. For example, it can be 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 or 90/10. However, there is always a minority/majority balance. Nobody really knows why but it just is. I work in data and see this all the timee.
How does the Pareto Principle apply to dating?
The orange bar shows the minority of men that the majority of women are naturally attracted to. As a rule of thumb, these tend to be what we would consider Alpha males. They are normally tall, good-looking and, confident. They normally have those ‘film star‘ looks and have to do little to attract women naturally.
Male Sexual Market Value
Some men are genetically blessed with height, good-looks and often with the confidence which comes from that. Confidence should not be confused with arrogance.
Confidence emanates from ‘frame‘ which we will cover later.
As a man, you can increase your sexual market value and start to become one of the 20% of men that 80% of the women are attracted to. You don’t need all of the attributes above. Sure, they help but they are not essential. You can increase your sexual market value. Winning the lottery will automatically increase your sexual market value.
A major part of increasing your sexual market value is frame. Frame can be described as ‘inner confidence‘.
Frame can be your core internal belief system. Think of male lead characters in a movie. They have strong frame. They have presence and confidence which is different than arrogance. James Bond, Clint Eastwood in the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Han Solo, Indiana Jones, etc. All these characters have strong frame.
Your frame is your own. Build and maintain strong frame and you will improve your game 100%
Maintaining a strong masculine frame is where internal confidence manifests from. Women love a confident man.
Frame is your internal world in which you operate. Frame is your internal belief system. Frame is your purpose in life. Frame is what you stand for. Frame is what makes you, you.
A great way to start building frame is to see it as a destination. Frame is your purpose and nothing is going to knock you off that course. Many men get carried away from their end goal by life events but a man with frame will battle against these and stay on course. This is why self-development is so important when it comes to frame.
Having goals in life is critical. Have life goals and career goals.
A great poem that talks about frame is this one:
If you can keep your head when all about youRudyard Kipling, If
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look to good, nor talk too wise.
Frames and shit tests
Women will always test your frame using ‘shit tests’. They will always try to knock you off your frame. Even when you are in long term relationships. It is a womans way to ensure that you are the strong, dominant man that she wants. There are plenty of articles about shit tests so I will not cover those right here.
Just be aware that women will shit-test you and they are testing your frame. You need to see a shit-test as a compliment. It means that the woman, in fact, likes you and is aware that you have a stronger frame than her.
Work harder on yourself than you do on a woman
The secret to increasing and maintaining frame is inner confidence. Not arrogance. An underlying confident attitude to your life.
Remember, there are certain things you cannot change in your life. You may not be as tall as you would like? Whatever cannot be changed except and own it. If you own it, and you get shit-tested on it, you appear much more confident and stronger from it.
God grant me the serenityReinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971)
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Start to work on the things you can change. These are the things where you will gain confidence. Let’s look at a few.
Start hitting the gym to increase your frame
Hitting the gym will increase your overall confidence. Getting in shape or losing a few pounds will help improve your body language. There are lots of subtle signs that you give off when you start getting in shape. Women notice this. Walking upright with shoulders back. Walking with underlying confidence.
Women also will start looking at you much differently. They will look at you in a more sexual way.
Getting in shape makes you appear more masculine and other guys will respect you and women will look at you sexually.
Start working on career goals to increase your frame
Always work on yourself more than you work on a woman. This includes focusing on your primary purpose or goal. This can be a career goal.
Increasing your sexual market value by increasing earning potential is one way to achieve this.
Women love a man with a purpose. Deep down, they want your money and financial stability. If you understand this, you can use his against them. Play heir game but don’t get robbed for your money.
Start to think of responses to shit-tests to increase your frame
It’s always a good idea to have pre-meditated answers to questions at interviews. Likewise, it’s useful to have ready responses to shit-tests.
Whatever these questions are, you need to own them and deliver them with conviction. It’s pointless me or anybody else scripting these for you as you need to say them in your own words, with conviction. This helps you deliver them hard and mean them.
Start to become of one the 20%
You need to start working harder on yourself than any woman in your life. Becoming a ‘better’ man will increase your sexual market value and attract more women. You need to do the work. No-one else can do this for you. I is up to you.
Richard Cooper summed it up perfectly when he said, ‘Women don’t care about the struggle, they hang out at the finish line and fuck the winners.’